im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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