You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Randomize
