I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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