Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
