I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
