Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
