I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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