doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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