that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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