walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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