It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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