You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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