I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
