singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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