tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
