I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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