There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Randomize
