Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
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There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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