she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
