just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
