Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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