He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
50% drunk capacity currently
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Randomize
