i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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