I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
