you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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