I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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