i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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