i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
