After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
