question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
