i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
