I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
