they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
