dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
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