Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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