ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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