just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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