covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
