I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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