So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
