READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
