Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
