How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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