I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
My balls are so social today.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
