Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Randomize
