i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
