hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
