Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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