No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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