It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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