I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
as a side note pls kill me
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
