maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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