I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
