I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize