i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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