R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Is it penis luge time yet?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
