How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
