I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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