she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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