just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Rumble strips road head = magical
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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