i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
