He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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