In the future we'll all be gay
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
