Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
