Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
