Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
