Non-Jews are for practice
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
