The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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