So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
two words...techno handjob
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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