Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
