"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
