Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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