I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Is it because I queefed?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
